Kids Connecting

Supervised Visitation

CAFA offers these services to provide non-custodial parents opportunities to connect with their children while CAFA seeks to ensure the safety of all those involved.

Christians As Family Advocates has provided services to survivors of Domestic Violence (DV) with an emphasis on helping them, help their children since 1994. Kids Connecting is CAFA’s Supervised Visitation program for children who are not able to visit with their parent without a third party present. CAFA’s mission is to “provide a safe place for children by equipping parents to be more successful as parents, partners and people.” Kids Connecting facilitates this mission by giving children access to both parents.

What is Supervised Visitation (SV)?

SV is the provision of a safe, comfortable, non-threatening and conflict-free environment in which a child(ren) can spend time with their non-custodial parent while a visitation monitor is present to ensure the visit is safe and to assist in making the visit more enjoyable.

Where are the Visitation Sites?

The visitation sites are located in several different churches in Lane County.

Each of the visitation sites serves a different population: some are better suited to pre-schoolers while others are more comfortable for older children. CAFA will match your child(ren) to the most appropriate site.

How do I obtain these services?

The non custodial parent must attend four free parenting classes at CAFA. These classes are only offered once each week. Once the non-custodial parent has completed the 4 classes, CAFA will schedule an in-person initial intake meeting with both parents SEPARATELY. After the intakes are completed, CAFA will schedule visits based on parent and staff availability. Visits are scheduled for 1 hour, once each week.  Additional hours are looked at as they become available.

Supervised visits will not be scheduled during a pending criminal case. No open DHS cases or cases involving a registered sex offender will be offered services through Kids Connecting. 

Please note, from the date of the initial parenting class to the first visit will be at least 5 weeks.

 

What is the Cost?

For non-custodial parent:

  • No charge for parenting classes
  • $50 for initial intake
  • $40 for each Visit

All visits must be paid in advance of the visit either by phone or in person at CAFA. No money will be exchanged at the visit. There is no charge for custodial parents.

 

Parenting Classes

Learning Therapeutic Play

Supervised visitation can be uncomfortable. Toward the goal of making the visits more comfortable and helping the visiting parent be better equipped, he/she must take four (4) parenting classes before a visit can be scheduled. The classes for the visiting parent are free. For the current information about the day and time of the class, parents should contact the CAFA office at (541)686-6000.

Why Visits Are Important

  • Child is able to maintain relationship with parent.
  • Child is able to see the parent is alright.
  • Child can see that the parent still loves him/her and wants him/her.
  • Allows child to ask questions regarding separation, may bring separation issues out in to the open.
  • Visits maintain connection between parent and child that helps child develop and maintain a sense of who the child is.
  • Visits help to see parent realistically.
  • Child has inner life in which he/she maintains a parent/child relationship.
  • Separation without visits may lead a child to idealize or devalue parents.
  • One way to connect with a person for whom we yearn is to become like that person. This may be especially pronounced in adolescence when a child is searching for identity. This may involve a child acting out or attempting to re-create family dynamics. Although separation is traumatic, it is necessary at times because of domestic violence, child abuse or other reasons.

Our job in providing supervised visits is to help make the separation less traumatic and help children build and maintain healthy relationships with very important people - their parents.

 

If A Child Refuses A Visit

If a child arrives at the Visitation Center and is saying that he/she does not want to visit the non-custodial parent the visitation staff will:

  • Take the child aside to speak with them.
  • Ask if they would like a shortened visit.
  • Ask if they just want to say hello to the parent.
  • Ask if they would like to write a letter or draw a picture for their parent.
  • If the child still declines all contact, the Center will log the child's response.
  • At no time will the Center ever make or pressure a child to visit with a non-custodial parent when the child refuses.

Helpful Hints To Prepare Your Child For Visitation

Custodial Parent

  • Help the child understand that he/she has done nothing wrong and that it is not his/her fault that the supervised visitation must occur.
  • Assist your child in becoming acquainted with the surroundings at the visitation site so that he/she is comfortable with the setting before the first visit.
  • Let your child know that the staff at the visitation site is there to help them when they need assistance.
  • Make an effort to maintain a positive outlook about the visitation yourself. Children are very impressionable and they can sense how their parents are feeling. Emotions are contagious and what you are feeling will be “caught” by your child. If they feel you are comfortable with the visit they may be able to be more positive about the visitation themselves.
  • Using an age-appropriate method, explain to your child the purpose of the supervised visitations and the safety arrangements. This way, the child can feel informed and feel as though they have some control in the situation.

Non-Custodial Parent

Assist your child to be comfortable during the visitation or exchange by not pressuring the child with questioning, comments about the other parent, discussing adult issues or trying to force the child to be affectionate.

 

 

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